Letter to the Editor: The Devil Delights in the Darkness

The following letter to the Editor was written by  AG (Anonymous Girl) in response to Sikh24’s coverage on the Luton Rape Case.
Whilst it may be a difficult pill to swallow, are we all just as equally responsible for the grooming and rape that exists within our society as those that commit the crime?
Every parent wants to see their children flourish and grow into successful human beings. Far too often our morals are compromised when success is defined through monetary gain as opposed to moral strength. As children of immigrants it is not difficult to identify that the work-hard ethic has been instilled in their children by many indians who arrived on British shores during the early 1960s and 70s.
However, one thing they didn’t leave behind was the importance that Asian communities place on a male child. In times gone by, these males meant steady income through hard work be it physical or mental. Women did not go out to work. Men also meant the movement of money into the family via dowries. Through education of girls and changes in working practices, that playing field has been levelled. Yet we still continue to see a great divide in some cultures and communities of how we treat our boys and girls.
When you fill your child with such overwhelming confidence and self belief they can feel invincible. When harnessed in the right way this is a powerful tool for any youngster embarking upon the foundation years of their lives.
However, when you only do this for boys and not girls you open a tidal wave of opportunity of the wrong sort.  How many times have you seen a family turn a blind eye to the behaviour of their son even though they know it is wrong?
If you raise someone up so high that they go unchecked you raise someone who knows that there is no recourse for them – they can do whatever they please without fear of being reprimanded. This doesn’t mean that they all go around raping girls – but those with bad intentions know that they probably won’t be held to account at home if they get caught for such wrong doings.
Furthermore when we place our boys on a platform, we teach our sons that they are more important than our daughters. We also teach them that their sisters and mothers are far less important than a man; any man.
We also teach our daughters that they are not worthy or the same sort of love or attention. We teach them that they are not worth investing in. Far to often they are not given a voice in matters impacting them, often they are not educated as much as male peers and are all to often deemed to be objects; be they objects of liability, sexuality or disregarded.
And here in lies the problem. When we treat the sexes differently we teach them that they are different and it is often the females that come of worse. And don’t for a second think that these males are oblivious to the differences. They know that they can do what they like to some girls as no one is looking out for them and no one will believe them. They also know that in many Indian communities, interaction between the sexes is frowned upon. Hence when it does take place and a girl who is raped or abused she is unlikely to reveal the truth for ‘she shouldnt have been there in the first place’. Studies show that over 80% of females are raped by people they know.
If you do not instil a sense of belonging and self worth in your daughters then someone else will. If you do not tell your daughters they are beautiful inside and out then someone else will. You give someone else an opportunity to fill the void. When this ‘love’ becomes the drug it is hard to wean off from it.
If you don’t give girls an education so that they can reach their full potential in life then they will never be informed of the opportunities that exist and indeed the dangers too.
Locking them up for the sake of family honour isn’t the answer either. Empower your daughters so that they know they are worth something. Let them know they have a home to come to should anything go wrong. Discuss their lives and dreams with them so you know what is going on in their lives. Let your sons know that they are equal to their sisters. Don’t leave your daughters vulnerable to the bad intentions of another.
Give them something to believe in and in turn, themselves. Let them have self worth so that they do not believe the first person who tells them they are beautiful. So that they don’t believe the person with wrong intentions. So that that they can identify the difference between someone who treats them with love and respect and some who does not. If you don’t teach them the difference then someone else will and by then it may be too late. The damage will be done.
Finally, it is important to know that any girl can be raped, even those from loving homes. Even with the best intentions, if someone sets out to wrong another there is often, and sadly, no stopping them.


  1. This is excellent. I hope our communities learn from this. Stop pointing fingers and start by protecting your own kids in your own homes.


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