The Sikh Marriage Ceremony
(Anand Karaj)
Summary of the Week:
The Sikh marriage ceremony of bliss (Anand Karaj) is conducted in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib. It is a sacred ceremony that binds a man and woman in a spiritual union. The spouse is a companion and an equal partner in the life’s journey – to strive to merge with the Divine.
The marriage ceremony encompasses a spiritual as well as a human dimension. On the one hand, the four ‘Laavaan’ represent the four steps the bride and groom, as one body, undertake to merge spiritually with the Divine. These steps have been explained in the hymns as written by Guru Ram Das.
A marriage is however, also a union of a man and woman as equal partners within contemporary society and a religious cultural setting. Let us now look at the four Laavaan in this context.
In the first laav, both are given the instruction to learn righteous conduct through the Guru’s wisdom and to contemplate on the virtues of the Creator who is our life force. Within the body is this treasure of the Naam (the Guru’s wisdom). The Divine abides within each of them. They need to uncover this wisdom which will then provide an awareness of a set of rules both should follow in their relationship with each other and with members of the extended family.
In the second laav, both are reminded to be conscious of the presence of the divine spirit in each other. Respect, reverence and appreciation of the Divine Source, relates also to respect for each other. The light of divine consciousness enables virtues such as truthfulness, compassion, contentment and gratitude among others to become part of everday life. These remove fear and the false ego from a relationship. Love for the Divine ignites love for the other.
In the third laav, the mind filled with love willingly detaches itself from worldly cravings bringing the couple closer together. In this loving communion of two souls, each partner helps one another to learn selflessness, faithfulness, giving and sharing. Man and woman look upon each other as reflections of the Divine within and give each other this due regard, the bond between them is further strengthened.
The fourth laav seals this union with the grace of the Divine as a witness shining upon them. Though physically two, they are now one in spirit. Oneness happens when each believes that the Divine has uniquely placed the two together in agreement with His will and with each other.
Marriage is about love. In the face of challenges and hardship, remember that marriage is a means of serving and glorifying the Divine together. It takes both the man and woman as one – working together – to truly reflect the virtues of the Divine.
Marriage is a step towards self-realization. We are all ‘one’ without knowing it. Once the ‘I-am-ness’ is removed, the egoism dispelled and the veil of materialism lifted, the pure self (the Divinity within) starts experiencing itself.
ਧਨ ਪਿਰੁ ਏਹਿ ਨ ਆਖੀਅਨਿ ਬਹਨਿ ਇਕਠੇ ਹੋਇ॥ ਏਕ ਜੋਤਿ ਦੁਇ ਮੂਰਤੀ ਧਨ ਪਿਰੁ ਕਹੀਐ ਸੋਇ॥
They who merely sit together are not said to be husband and wife. In fact, they who have one soul in two bodies are called true husband and wife. – Guru Amar Das, Guru Granth Sahib, 788
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. – Aristotle
